The show goes on

People. We see them everyday, walk with them, drive next to them, converse with them.

I don't know about you, or your friends, or your mother, but I miss them.

I miss a stranger that meets my glance on a sidewalk. Or a person who looks sad momentarily on a bus. I miss the people who return my smile, or hold the door for me. I miss the cashiers that actually look me in the eye and mean "have a good day" when they say it. I guess I could say that I miss everyone I meet, but eventually the feeling will lessen as our encounter becomes more distant. And then all together it vanishes, and life goes on.

Life always goes on.

I went to on a tour of Europe for spring break. A Contiki Tour: European Magic- 7 countries in 9 days. I'll write about that later...

But for now, I am sitting at home in my cozy apartment. It's almost 7PM and the sun is setting. I have a coffee cup next to me that's half full, or half empty, and Modest Mouse is playing.

I'm conversing with one of the boys I met on the tour and wondering where he is. I'm wondering if he's already in bed, because it's after 11PM there, and what his surroundings might be like.

It makes me sad and it makes me miss everyone so much more that I will never get to see their lives. I won't be able to walk into their dirty rooms, or maybe clean, and see the pictures on their walls. I won't be able to glance into family portraits and point out the dysfunctional sibling or gay cousin. I won't be able to see if they prefer fresh foods over frozen, an Xbox over a Playstation, a tub over a shower. I won't be able to meet their friends or visit a favored restaurant or pub. I won't be able to actually get to know them enough to miss them this much.

So why do I? A lack of personal information to collect? Missing memories of coming together like missing pieces in a puzzle?

They will never get to see my messy room. They will never get to meet my fat cat that I talked about or my roommate. They'll never get to meet my boyfriend and see how much they'd like him. I can't ever buy them a beer to repay them for the many they bought me. We can't get silly stoned together. They can't see that I do not have any family portraits or that my walls are littered with stolen signs and contraband.

I wonder if Jenny is sleeping over in Japan. I wonder if Christopher is in his jim jams while talking to me at home in London. I wonder if Newton and the other Aussies are wasted at a bar yet, wherever they are right now. Dublin is where I last heard they were visiting.

I wonder where everyone is, and what they are doing, if they are smiling, sleeping, or morose. If they are smiling, I'd like to smile back. If they are sleeping, I'd wish them happy dreams. And if they are sad, I'd do anything to make them laugh.

One day, I'll visit these people again. I'll catch more than just a glimpse into their lives. Maybe I'll learn their middle names, or what age they lost their virginity, or the first time they smoked pot. Maybe I'll see their rooms, view their pictures, and buy them a beer. And maybe we'll exchange smiles again like we did in 7 different countries during 9 days that I'll never forget.

"All right, already
The show goes on
All night 'til the morning
We dream so long
Anybody ever wonder
When they would see the sun go
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on "