Everything I have been planning, building up to, shot down so easily, so carefully, written so carelessly. I didn't get in. I'm not competitive enough.
I'm not good enough.
And that's all I've been hearing, breathing, thinking.
Gainesville was once too big for me, but maybe it's time, maybe this time I'm too big for Gainesville.
Not academically, of course.
Maybe elsewhere, somewhere, anywhere but here.
It could be my impulses, or my irrational thoughts, but this means something. Why reapply, why be shot down again? Why not just carry on to the next big thing, and just move?
I don't think they'll miss me so much, everybody has somebody, and they'll be okay. And they'll get to keep the trees and the prairie and they're dreams and those awful orange and blue signs that litter the city.
I've skipped biology twice.
Who cares?
I don't think I care.
