being surrounded by your friends and strangers as the clocks ticks past midnight, blowing out candles on the birthday cake with your name on it as they sing "happy birthday" through chaotic cheering and champagne bottles popping
being given anything at all just because someone finds something and thought about you, or has the free drugs to spare, or enjoys seeing you laugh or smile- not just because it's your birthday and that's when you're allowed to give gifts with no questions asked
when authority and the law isn't so relentless in ruining a good time, when a cop takes off their mask and relates as a human instead of a power-hungry pig and gets in his patrol car to drive away after saying, "I remember when I turned 21- chug a few beers for me," and you smile and go do exactly as he says because you can
when a cute, quiet boy is in and out of your sight all night-socializing, smoking, smiling- and then maybe looking at you from across a noisy room, through drunk conversations and careless movements and he winks at you and that wink sails across the room and you smile because you're drunk and honest
having your birthday cake wiped all over your face
wiping it all over that cute, quiet boys face
having your best friend wipe it off yours while you drunkenly ask "can you still see it? is it still there?" and turn your head loosely watching things happen around you
waking up with it in your hair
throwing up in sinks and later denying it because you didn't remember
receiving birthday cards that dance and sing
friends reconnecting and reuniting after a hard time, after not talking or being apart
making out with a good friend because you both were happily drunk and it felt right against hallways and cars
watching the night fade and sun rise and illuminate the trash in your yard and the dirt on your floors
admitting to your best friend that you miss her and want her around more as sunlight catches the ends of her long hair
hearing songs you used to hear on the radio years before while everyone dances and sings along
smoking cigarettes inside your house because you didn't think about how much you'd regret it the next day
feeling infinite in the amount of love you have for all of your friends and knowing they have it too-
because moments like these, nights like these, they're infinite in the way they move me and they're unforgettable- if I could remember.
