"Don't leave me."
The way he said it so softly, longingly, and seriously, choked me up. I couldn't respond immediately because we both knew what sunrise would bring- I was leaving New York to arrive back in Florida.
For a moment, a mutual vision was shared in our eyes of a life we couldn't have. A life where we could conveniently wake up to each other every morning and decide to lay in bed all day, never leaving the house except for the bare necessities. A life where we could drink coffee and learn about each other, our pasts, families, experiences, heartbreaks, and dreams. A life that would be full of nights walking around the city aimlessly just to enjoy one another's company in the beautiful buzz of the New York Lifestyle, getting lost, losing ourselves. One where a seed could be planted and watered for growth with wide smiles, open mouthed laughs, and unconditional, inspirational love. It could happen in another life time where he still lived in Florida, or I was done with school already, and we could be happy.
I looked him in the eyes this time without him asking me politely and smiled when really I just kind of wanted to cry. I felt an overwhelming feeling I had become unfamiliar with, an uncontrollable ocean of emotions.
"Pinky promise me this won't be the last time we'll see each other." He stared at my hand and shook his head.
"I can't promise that because I don't know." The hope inside me withered a little- I knew where he was coming from, but I wouldn't imagine this being the end already. I couldn't.
"I know we will, even if it means I have to come back." I decided before the words were even out.
Justin looked up at me with his shining hazel eyes and wrapped his pinky around mine. We kissed our hands, as if to seal the promise.
"Come here," he said with a half smile, and I breathed a kiss in. My head whirled and my knee's weakened.
Saying goodbye was hard. We dragged it out like the night, not wasting any time to be completely consumed with each other, kissing and touching and laughing, hoping it would never end. There was a mutual light in both our eyes that was something like a feeling I had forgotten- I think he forgot it for awhile, too, and together we marveled in it not thinking of where I would be in just under twelve hours.
I was going to miss his cute button nose and strong hands on the small of my back.
The way he told me he loved my laugh and played with me in the rain.
The way he told me he loved that I was mad at him, or pinned me against a brick wall, or held my hand and kissed my knuckles.
It was like we had a lifetime together in one night, passing by too quickly but sinking in so comfortably, naturally.
It's like I had known him forever or not met him at all.
"These things just happen," he said kissing me goodbye once more in front of my hotel room, and I recalled when the bartender said the exact same words two nights before.
I smiled from ear to ear reflecting his expression- this wasn't goodbye forever.
This wasn't the end.
